Would You Think I Was Weird?

Would you think that I was weird if I said I want to write?
But I don’t know what to write about today?
It’s been a funny sort of day with several salesmen on the phone
Wanting me to sign their contracts right away.

Have you ever had the wobbles when it came to putting down
Your name, address and details for some unknown
You try to remember what you said when on the phone
And hope they don’t intend to repossess your home?

First came car Insurance, well, I know that it is due
So I googled for quotes as I was told
But then when I completed the lengthy questionnaires
Some said No, they thought I was too old.

Well, that was alright for some did not object
To a woman only eighty three this year
But when they asked me what I’d done a few years back in time
I could only say what I had done this year.

It’s hard enough to remember what I have had for lunch
Or what I may have done the day before
But to ask me if and when my car’s had a little scratch
It’s had seven years of scratches, maybe more!

Well, as you may expect car insurance has been shelved
I’ll have to ponder that quite a lot more
So now the energy supplier has telephoned to say
That they’ve been sold by the Government; but wait, there’s more.

Now, though a bit of them is Asian and a bit is still Australian
They will still sell electricity from their grids
A contract is awaiting but, please, no hesitating
Their competition is on their heels with better bids.

Now I don’t want to mention a new phone was my intention
But the word ‘Contract’ was the first thing that I heard
When the phone company rang to read out their conditions
Now cars and phones and lights get on my nerves.

Wyn Barratt

April 2011