What?

What am I listening for, why am I searching?
Looking for distraction without any purpose
I don’t want to think or make up a goal
Yet here is no meaning to my life as a whole.

I don’t want to stay here, I don’t want to go
I can’t imagine why I feel this thing so
Is it a grief or depression I am in?
From my understanding I am living in sin.

I should not feel hurt when I’m snubbed or I’m shunned
Perhaps in a Convent I might make a good Nun
My skin is too thin and my brain is too thick
What is my future when I’m as thick as a brick?

Tired of repeated..’You should’…and..’You should’
Well I just don’t want to even if I could
I’m tired of people saying ‘Your negative talk
Will bring into being bad things in your walk.

So I wish I could crawl right under a rock
While you folk analyse me and talk a lot of rot
I know all my bad points outweigh all the good
But that means I am human and ‘you should…’you should’….