This Looks Like Goodbye

You still haven’t said but this looks like goodbye
It’s a day I ‘d really expected
Yet thought I‘d be troubled with guilt and regret
When sickness had stirred the unexpected.

Too quickly the tears flow with every track that I play
And pain long passed and part healed now
Rip open my flesh like a hungering beast
Determined to savour death somehow.

My time on the coast where once I could boast
Has ended with no bang, just a whimper
Sleep that won’t bless; rest without rest
Each sound now a groan, not a whisper.

The mists of the past surround me at last
While medics just give up the struggle
Replacement? Refreshment? Renewal?How cruel!
Let her go she’s no use; break the huddle.

Don’t look back on our dreams they weren’t the treasures they seemed
Mere fantasies driven by depression
Reality? Ignore it! I always deplored it!
Regret that tells lies. It wasn’t worth it.!

W.B. Sept.